Super Friday to everyone!! Ah, the weekend is here and looking forward to it. I had a good week (and hope you did, too) but I'm looking forward to spending time with my man.
Keevin and I are living in our camper until we can get adjusted here in Boone, then we will search for a rental property. Our long term goal is to own a 10-acre farm, grow vegetables, goats, donkies and enjoy lots of entertainment with friends, family and neighbors on the property. But for now, we are living in a camp ground. That means all of my plants are outdoors. I am hoping that the campground lady will allow me to place my plants in her pavilion should cold weather happen upon us before we are able to rent a house or apartment. So, it crossed my mind that I should watch the weather and keep up with possible frost dates. And low and behold, yesterday the weatherman says "possible snow in the higher elevations for Saturday." Yikes!!! And guess what? Last night I dreamed that it snowed on my plants. Thankfully, it was just a dream but I am coming up with a plan to temporarily protect my plants without having to haul all of them down to the pavilion just now. I am sure there are plenty of warm, sun-filled days left for them to benefit from. I promise to keep you informed of the health of my plants.
Moving here to Boone has opened up my eyes to some things. I have found myself suffering from a generalized feeling of stress. What's that about? I think it has to do with people connections. I had a conversation with God about this and I want to share it with you. It is amazing how He answered me. Listen on:
As I began journaling to God, yesterday morning, I recognized Him as the Supreme and the only true Authority. I thanked Him for being who He is. I then found myself writing "I realy can trust You!" Knowing the conflict I had within myself regarding people connections I asked Him to help me write a 21 day journal note and I thanked Him for helping me with that request. I asked Holy Dad "Lord, are there hidden things in my psyche that leads me to avoid connections with others?" I am starved for deeper solid connections but I don't dare try due to fear of rejection. That failure of pursuing others also causes me to feel worthless in terms of relationship material. As I thought more about my situation I realized that I have been blaming others. The fact is I am probably giving off a coolness vibe that is not welcoming. I have emitted that coolness vibe as a protection element, however I am really missing out on some wonderful relationships that could enrich my life. Do you resonate with my feelings at all? If you do --keep following this path. You and I are going to be healed of this.
Back to my journaling: I asked God to help me write a 21 day journal note that would draw me out and keep me out of the soggy, boggy place of seclusion. I thanked Him. At that time I just wanted to praise Him so I worte "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice!" I wanted to continue but need inspiration, so I turned to the book of Psalm and scanned the first verses for a chapter that I could praise Him with. Verse 1 of chapter 27 looked good. I wrote it down and kept on writing. I am so excited about what I found that I want you to read it with me. Here it is: 1. The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? (those who reject me?) The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid? (O Lord, take my fear of rejection from others away from me) 7. Hear my voice when I call O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. 10. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. (Father, even if the most important people to me in the world reject me--YOU WON'T!!) 13. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. (Father, sounds like you have a lot of good things to enrich me with while living among the people you have surrounded me with) Well, chapter 27 was good, so I kept reading. Psalm 28:6 says "Praise be to the Lord, for He has heard my cry for mercy. (Lord, thank you for hearing my requests this morning) 7. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. (WOW! I told Him "I can really trust You" and now He is talking back to me and showing me His helping hand) My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. (Yes, I am very happy!)
And Psalm 30 is super good: 2. O Lord my God, I called to You for help and You healed me. (did you hear the word heal just as I did?) (He is going to heal us of our distorted thinking) 3. O Lord, You brought me up from the grave; You spared me from going down into the pit. (Father, You really did hear me talk about the soggy, boggy place of seclusion, didn't You?) 9. What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it proclaim Your faithfulness? (I knew that soggy, boggy place of seclusion was doing You and me no good--but I didn't realize You would tell me about it so clearly this morning)
I don't know if you've ever experienced an instant conversation with God --but what I can tell you of my experience is that it is absolutely amazing and touching. You should give it a try!! I started out with praise verses and He chimed in with hope and encouragement and answers. I love it!
Now that brings me to the 21 day journal note that God gave to heal you and me.
21 Day Journal Note # 12
Deep, solid connections
Due to past experiences of relational injury and rejection, I find myself sinking into a soggy, boggy seclusion. It feels safe there--but lonely. God, You designed me to be a relational being but the perceived safety of seclusion seems to draw me away from others. Psalm 27:10, 13 (NIV) says: "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the lalnd of the living." Psalm 30:2,9 wonderfully says: "O Lord my God, I called to You for help and You healed me. What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will dust praise You? Will it proclaim Your faithfulness?" Holy Dad, You are enabling me to move up and out of this soggy, boggy place of seclusion. I feel secure living in the land with people. I am warm and friendly and welcoming. I am enjoying the times that I spend engaging the company of others. I am looking for enrichments from those I am with. I am breathing. I am relaxing. I am letting my guard down and trusting You. The real me is finally blossoming!! Father, You are awesome!!
end of journal note.
I started day 1 of this note this morning and it felt good knowing that I am exercising self-discipline to overcome my fear. Give it a try--it's really not that hard.
Confidence elements this 21 day journal note improves: love, joy, peace, kindness.
Confidence busters this one eliminates: fearful, gossip, self-centered, timid, uncertain, wallowing, unhealed wounds, anxiety, procrastination, depression, disloyalty, jealousy, dissatisfaction, uncaring, rejected, cowardly, and unloved.
What did you think about the Life Directive (Bible study) I want to write to find self-identity? The comments I received from my request in the last blog have been very helpful. Thank you so much. I still want to hear from more of you--the more comments I receive the more valuable the life directive will be.
Here's another question for you: what kind of situation makes your heart race? I'd love to hear from you. Don't forget to sign up for the Life Directive at my email address: wynndywilson@yahoo.com
All of you wonderful folks have a great weekend!!
Sisterly love to all, Wynndy
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