Hey there, my friends!! Are you sick and tired of the cicadas? They are incredibly present in our yard and are very loud. At least today they are quiet due to the rain. Yes, it is raining again. The sunshine was nice for a couple of days--and I took advantage of it. I sat out on my patio and read from a book about Heaven by Randy Alcorn. I highly recommend it to you. The life you live on the old earth will be greatly enhanced by your knowledge of the New Earth. I really love the book.
Now, it is time for you to sit up straight, shoulders down and back and smile. Smiling makes you look younger. Smiling makes you brighter. Your voice changes when you smile. So, give it a try.
You don't feel like smiling? Why? Folks who are panicky, depressed, stressed, worried, fearful and angry have a hard time forcing a smile. Let's look into your background for some answers and then we will put up the past and move on to a smiling world. Thank You Holy Dad for providing such care to us!!
Parenting is a hard job. Parenting small children is often done by young, immature, inexperienced people--simply because of the age we have babies. If we were to be able to wait untill we are middle-aged then we would have more suffiecient ideas for parenting. But I am reminded of some change-of-life babies who are treated more like grandchildren and spoiled rotten. So much for my theory. My point is: parents do the best they can and do what they think is right at the time.
I am going to list some scenerios. One of them may fit you. None of them may fit you. Sometimes stuff happens in a family that is kept secret and you think you are the odd man out and cannot for the life of you figure it out. And you may never know what the secret is. But God knows. And He wants you to trust Him. Also, things happen to some of us and we block it out. Just be aware of what could be true for you.
You may find yourself adopted and wonder why your mother gave you up. Your mother or father may have left you at your grandpaents home, never to return. Living in the same home as your parents but not bonding with them for whatever reasons. Your father or mother was a strict disciplinarian. Alcoholic. Gambler. Addicted to drugs. Pornography. Prostitution. Married to the career. Always gone. Incest. Beatings. Called you bad names. Said you wouldn't amount to anything. Ignored you. Always angry. Depressed. Panic attacks. In jail or prison. Homosexual. Divorced. Unfaithful in the marriage. Mental Disease. Handicapped. Sickly and needing you to take care of the parent. Murderer. Murdered. Suicide. Hoarder. Always moving the family from city to city. Controlling. Extreme phobias. Mood swings. Thief. Dramatic. Always lying. Morbidly obese. Your home-life is totally different than what is portrayed to the public. Greedy. Smothering. Overprotective. Pushing you into a sport or career path that you absolutely hate. Over commiting you to extra curricular activities. Legalistically religious. Unable to hold down jobs and provide for family. Impulsive. Never saying "I love you".
Did anything ring loud and true for you or seem familiar?
After reading this blog I want you to do an assignment. Sit down in a quiet, private place and journal how and what you feel about your upbringing. Be honest. Don't be afraid of writing it down. You can destroy the document afterwards. Write your heart out. Then write down the reasons why you think things were the way they were. Later on quiz your parents or family members or family friends about the past. Do this so as not to harm anyone intentionally. Try to do this in a factual way and without emotions. Pretend your parents, siblings, whoever, are not related to you and do some research.
I realize that this is a very hard assignment. I am praying that you are ready to move on to a more fulfilling and satisfying life than the one you have been living in. Ask Holy Dad to give you His strength and insight as to what to ask and whom to ask and when to ask.
Now, just suppose you find yourself in a situatioin where you cannot question your family past. They may all be dead. You may not know who they are. You may not know anything except things don't feel right. That could be due to a secret. If you are acting outside the perimeters of the confidence elements (Gal. 5:22-23-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) then something is not right. Write down how it is that you are acting out. Present these to Holy Dad and ask Him to help you resolve them. He may reveal a secret and He may not.. Either way, He can heal you.
I have a helpful 21 day journal note for you to hand write once a day for 21 days. This rewires your brain and subconscious. Remember how it takes 21 days to change a habit--this is along the same lines but you are literally placing God's thoughts into yours. It works amazingly!!
Here's the journal note:
Psalm 37 (NIV) Vs. 1. Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong. Vs 7. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Vs 8. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil. Vs 9. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.
I am not fretting and worrying because of past relational pain. Instead, I am standing still before You Lord, waiting patiently and calmly for You. I refuse to get stuck in an angry rut toward people who have hurt me. I choose to forgive them. Fretting and worrying produces only one thing and that is bad behavior. Bad behavior breaks up relationships. Holy Dad, You are dealing with bad behavior whether it is mine or others. But those of us who choose to trust You Lord will thrive.
End of journal note.
Notice that the journal note talks about forgiving. That doesn't mean that whatever was done to you is excusable. It also doesn't mean that the memory won't hurt--but God can and does heal memories as well as the real event. Just remember, He allows you the time to grieve but He also wants you to heal and forgive and move on so that you cam be the best you for Him. He has a great life already planned out for you. And let me tell you that when you feel the relief, when you realize in a quiet way that you didn't react like you always do--you will stop andworship and praise our Holy God--for He is sooo good.
I know that this blog has been a heavy one but if you are truly serious about developing confidence done right--then this is something to deal with. Deal with it and don't wallow in it. Deal with it and move on.
I want to point out that today we are dealing with the confidence element self-control. It takes your self-control and self-discipline to achieve and receive God's healing. Don't be afraid. Don't blame yourself for where you are today. Look at yourself realistically and admit what your current situation is. Present it to God and give the situation or condition to Him. There are two verses in Psalm 37 that are smack dab in the middle of today's journal note but not included. Here they are: Psalm 37: 3-4 (NIV) "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." My friend, that is a wonderful gift to you from our Heavenly Father. Do what it says and enjoy the gift!!!
My friend, now is the time to grow up. Up until now, you have been acting out of your child-self because you were stuck. However, unless you are a very young person reading this, you are now an adult. You couldn't help what was done to you as a child but you are responsible for you as an adult. Let's do this thing and do it well!!
Please feel free to comment or ask questions on this blog. I want to help you out in any way that I can.
Father, please help my friend to press on with this difficult task, but at the same time give peace about it.
Thank You for healing us!! We love You Lord. Amen.
Love to all, Wynndy
