Happy Friday to my readers!! It is finally here. Have you made your weekend plans yet? If you haven't, don't feel bad. I'm not sure what Keevin and I will be doing but the grocery store is always on the agenda. I'm cooking a London Broil for supper tonight. I have had that piece of beef in the freezer for a couple of months wondering how to cook it. Yesterday I looked up recipes on the internet and decided that Friday is the day to do it. It is in the refrig at this very moment soaking in a marinate. I am also going to roast squash and zuchini for the first time. I get all of my inspiration from the cooking channels.
I also get inspiration from the animal channels. I have been watching The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic channel and have learned how to walk Rocky, my dog, instead of him walking me. Ceasar Millan advises to keep the leash pulled taut so that the dog walks by your side instead of ahead of you. He also says that dogs sense when humans are anxious. For this reason he says to keep your head up and look straight ahead. The dog learns that you are in control. If you look down at the dog he gets the sense that he is in control. Did you know that? That teaches the dog to do the bad things you don't want him to do. Allowing a dog to bark continuously and jumping up on people, etc, allows the dog to stay in a distressed state. Aggression means the dog is afraid but it looks like he is being authoritative. He acts this way for protection. Allowing him to do these things keeps him in the bad habits. Changing the way you act toward him changes him. Oh?
So I pondered on this idea for a while. I tried out the walking advise on Rocky yesterday and it works. He conformed to my standards. Could this work toward human behavior? How many people do we actually allow to treat us badly? How many people do we treat badly? Are these bad behaviors due to fear and insecurity? Anger, anxiety attacks, whinning, temper tandrums, etc--I think that we allow them to happen to us. What to do?
I asked God how I should relay this idea to you and He led me to this verse: Isaiah 58:11 (GWT) "The Lord will continually guide you and satisfy you even in sun-baked places. He will strengthen your bones. You will become like a watered garden and like a spring whose water does not stop flowing."
I have authored a Life Directive (Bible study) about relationships. My idea was to teach ladies how to navigate through relationships by changing themselves and not to change others to mold their wishes. God directed everything beautifully and it turned out well. The group I have been teaching it to has become a very loving, close-knit group of ladies. I can honestly say that we have each others back. We have encouraged each other and shared some wonderful moments and some painful moments together.
You may be asking how you can do relationships God's way. It is by following His lead. He is the leader of me. I follow Him, like the dog. Do I feel less in control than before? Do you remember me telling you that the dog acts aggressively out of fear? Well, letting God take the lead in my life takes out the fear and also lots of pressure. It is a freeing act instead of a backwards act.
As we relate to other people His ways are the ones guiding the relationships. Instead of being an enabler (allowing the other person to suck you into their misery) and encouraging misery you become less absorb by the person and more intuned with God. If you are the whinner and no one wants to put up with you, changing your focus to God allows the real, satisfied you to shine and others will gravitate to you (and God). It is a fact that anger works. Well, it doesn't have to. Ignoring anger (as much as possible), staying calm and speaking calmly diffuses the anger because the anger has lost it's fuel. In a sense--keep your head up and shoulders back in a confident position so that the other person cannot sense insecurity about you. And how do you deal with anixious people who get in your face and get you all upset? Notice their patterns. Do the things they are anxious about ever come to fruition? Learn how to watch patterns and to not react because you know the probable outcome--which is probably nothing.
Hopefully this will help you in your marriage or the relationship with your dream mate. Keep your eyes and focus on Jesus and enjoy better relationships. Now, I know that some of the above suggestions are hard without healing of relational injuries, so I suggest that you continue with the 21 day Journal notes. The above suggestions will become automatic responses to the situations.
Journal note # 4
Nix the Nag. Mix with the Hubby!
Proverbs 21:23 (MSG) Watch your words and hold your tongue; you'll save yourself a lot of grief. Psalm 37: 3-4 (NIV) Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delignt yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Yes, I am concerned about my husband's (problem). However, I will no longer bully him about it. I am freeing myself of this duty and am turning it over to You, Lord. I trust You to talk to him about (his problem). I will do good by focusing on his good traits and loving him Being free from policing him will allow me to enjoy our relationship better. Lord, I try hard to please You and I thank You for honoring my request to help me and my husband.
end of journal note.
My friend, I encourage you to become a good follower of Jesus and learn to really enjoy the other relationships in your life.
Sisterly love to all, Wynndy
