I recently suffered a week full of despair, rejection, discouragement, disappointment, and uncontrollable crying. Keevin and I are going to have to move from this wonderful home and neighborhood because another neighbor (?) reported to the owner that we were holding church services in our home. It is true that we advertised with signs about our new church but have yet had anyone to come to worship here. We had planned to move it to a rental space once we had a couple of folks attending. I even felt guilt that we had failed God. I felt embarrassed, ashamed at perhaps going about this church plant the wrong way. All sorts of emotions filled me and filled me up and flowed over.
Have you ever been in a crisis that took such a hold of you as to paralyze and numb your senses? My life during the last week looked nothing like: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I didn't want the situation to control me like it did--and guess what, neither did God!
What I learned about myself was that I suffered from deep rejection pain. It is true that 10 % of people in our world will not like us, so rejection is to be expected. But why do we suffer so much from rejection, from painful hurts, guilt and shame? Why do we hold onto them so tightly? Because we trust ourselves. We think we are dealing with it the right way. Philippians 3:3b (NCV) says this: "We worship God through His Spirit, and our pride is in Christ Jesus. We do not trust in ourselves or anything we can do." So, have we been trusting in the wrong person? The answer is YES! When we get bogged down in our life messes we are actually trusting ourselves.
But it's not just trust, it's actual pain. UCLA neuroscientist, Naomi Eisenberger says that rejection activates the same brain area that generates the adverse reaction to physical pain. What she is saying is that rejection (or any other fear, guilt, etc.) causes actual pain. I started noticing what I felt physically after reading this information. When ever a rejection, painful thought popped up I had a sting in my chest. Naturally we run away from pain. That's why we don't deal with these negative emotions.
Let's look at statements Holy Dad has provided for us that tells us how He doesn't want us to suffer like this. Jesus told us He doesn't want us to live our lives full of guilt and shame. John 8:11 (NCV): "Then Jesus said, 'I also don't judge you guilty. You may go now, but don't sin anymore.'" Now look at (NIV): "Then neither do I condemn you, Jesus declared. Go now and leave your life of sin." Notice that He doesn't want us to feel condemned or guilty. Instead, He wants us to do life His way.
And Psalm 25:15 offers us a strong statement to cling to. (AMP): "My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net." Last week I felt like I was caught up in a net and couldn't get free, but guess what? I found a hole to get out of. But before I get to the escape look at (GWT): "My eyes are always on the Lord. He removes my feet from traps." And (GNT): "I look to the Lord for help at all times, and He rescues me from danger." And my favorite, (MSG): "If I keep my eyes on God, I won't trip over my own feet." Yes, our own feet trip us up. Why? Because we are running away from pain instead of standing up to it and trusting that God really knows what He's talking about.
I learned from Self-growth.com, Dr. Monica Frank, a clinical psychologist,that cognitive restructuring is a technique that focuses on changing the underlying thought processes that tend to create and perpetuate the behavior. Um, that sounds a lot like my 21 Day Journal notes. Also, memorizing, daily quoting God's word to ourselves and handwriting it for 21 days will seal it in and delete the bad stuff out.
Satan's power is as strong only as much as you allow it to be. That's why God's word speaks so much about our self-control. Satan wants us to think we don't have any control but we really do. He just doesn't want you to know that or challenge it.
Romans 12:2 (NLT): "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is." Everytime you have a rejection thought, a fearful thought, a guilt-ridden thought, say no to it. This system really works because I used it last week and experienced life changing effects. At first I had to say "no" every few seconds because the thoughts were coming at me fast and furious. Then it became hourly. But there was a point when my "no" took hold and subdued the negative thoughts and emotions. I journaled to God that I felt new energies. That explains how He transforms us into new persons.
And see how He advises us to say "no" to Satan. James 4:7 (MSG): "So let God work His will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper." Friends, it really works!!!!
But don't miss the connecting advise in all these verses on this blog: worship God through His Spirit, keep my eyes on God, let God work His will in you, and "I don't condemn you." He even paints a picture of the wonderful life He has for us by doing life His way. Galatians 5:22-23 (MSG): "But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard--things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."
Thank You Holy Dad for this wonderful life You have given us. Please help my readers to want this life enough that they will do it Your way. Thank You, Father!!
Enjoy good life. Jesus' healing and peace to all, Wynndy
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